drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
