careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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