I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
