im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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