i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize