I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Small penises have feelings too.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
