he puts the penis in happiness.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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