Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
