Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
