Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
