shes about as inviting as chlamydia
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
