is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
