As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I believe in your delicious
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize