Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
