Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
