We named our party play list daddy issues
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
