Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
