I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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