YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize