And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
