how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Let's paint friendship bongs
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
