It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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