I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
