He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
