okay pat passed out under dana's car
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
