I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You've changed since you got that strap on
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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