his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
