Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
