Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
