my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
