Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
