Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
