Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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