Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
