sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
