Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
