But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize