she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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