Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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