Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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