How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
this hospital has no fireball
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize