I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
