so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
