His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
