the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
