Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
