why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
