i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
