Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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