She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
