its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
