I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
