3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
