Sry I called you an 8
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
