wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
