the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
