I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
