Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
