her vagine was all disorganized.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
