I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
