You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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