I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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