Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
