at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
