respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
