Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
