why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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