I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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