OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
