Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wear drunk well.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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