going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
