wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
