A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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