i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
