yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's blow job season.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
