My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Terrible idea I love it
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
