Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
