I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
