her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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