yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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